I’m the Easter Bunny

CW: gym culture, diet culture, body negativity

What I mean is, I don’t exist. I’d say “I’m a unicorn,” except that I’m not currently romantically involved with a male/female couple. Let me explain:

I lift weights. Not a lot; just your bog-standard three workouts a week. The leg press machine is my favorite, because it makes me feel like a badass — I do burnouts starting at 350 lbs. (157.5 kg) for as…